Healing the pain

A “fellow” chaplain who is also a treasured friend called after reading the post of May 3, titled, "At what age do you think you daughter will be ready to read this?  She said, "Your article could help extend some ‘candlelight’ for young people, but you can’t stop there. What about readers who have difficult memories arise as they read what you wrote for the woman whose story you promised to “get it published.” Can they trust you to be there for them?” 

Yes.  She is right. I had to deal with my own triggered memories of a bad experience in keeping my promise to write the woman’s story. The truth of old, buried pain can surely arise to hurt once again when it is triggered. Whether it is something sudden, abusive or alarming that happened to us--or to a close loved one--we don’t want to be forced to revisit it. We feel assaulted again. And we do not like the moldy-mildewed feelings that arise.

Some of us do some self-blame. For some reason we seem to always have “what ifs,” thinking we could have done something to keep “that” from happening. This is false guilt. It does not serve us well. There is no help whatsoever in thinking “It was my fault.”  And, it is not fair to ourselves.  We all make mistakes. We cannot “do” this life without them. Mistakes teach us what works well and what does not work well.

Scripture is very specific about this: God does not want us to live with guilt or shame. The Scriptures show us the need for repentance when we have chosen to do something wrong. The way forward is bringing everything that concerns us to Him through prayer.

One of the most beautiful passages is in Matthew 11: 28-29, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Everything we ever do or experience is in “cold storage” in our brain. It is in our subconscious mind and can arise. This, at times, helps us when memories come up. And at other times it is for sure a memory can hurt us. The files of Jeffery Epstein that have in part been opened have brought up very difficult memories for many people.

Many years ago the Lord gave me a way of coming to Him, allowing Him to relieve me of a painful memory, about a plaguing situation that had me stirred up. It is a visualization that works with what is currently happening or what is coming up from my subconscious mind:

I call this “An Inner Healing Exercise” and use it when the experiences of life are difficult or painful. For best results, lie down (or sit quietly) envisioning the entirety of your torso covered by a huge sponge. See the Lord Jesus placing this sponge on your body, holding it there (or sightly over your body). Envision Him as sending love into your soul.

Next, purpose to let go the difficult feelings while visualizing them being released from your body and soul into the sponge. (I visualize vapors leaving my body while releasing the feelings.) Do this as long and as often as you need to while letting go of the pain you are feeling. At points, envision Jesus coming alongside and with His big hands He squeezes the sponge dry, then gently extends it again so we can do more releasing.

The subconscious mind works with pictures, images created by dreams, or by our creating them consciously. For this reason, an exercise such as this allows the message of healing to be received by the subconscious mind where healing is needed.

If tears flow, this is good. It will help you release the painful emotions and bless your body with relief. Tell yourself that love is flowing like a river into your heart and throughout your entire body, replacing the pain. Offer thanks to God as you receive healing. This is a process; it takes varying degrees of time, depending on the depth of the pain.

I find the exercise even more helpful when it is possible to fall asleep within the process of releasing the pain. This allows the healing to move deeper into the subconscious mind where restoration is needed.

We learn how to defeat false guilt by recognizing it, then releasing it. We can say, “My spirit is done with that” when we feel responsible for something that is out of our control--or carries false guilt.  

“False guilt comes from saying no to people . . . . The only true guilt comes from saying no to God.” From Paul Tournier’s Guilt and Grace.

Visit my Quick Aids page for a prayer that helps when we are tempted to hate the one who has hurt us or feel otherwise distressed over something that has happened to us. It helps, too, when we are afraid. When abuse has been experienced, for some of us, this world can feel less safe.