Parents make the darndest mistakes!

It happened to be the only time in my history in which every drawer, cabinet and closet in my house was clean, meaning set in order. Our entire house received a “going through” as my mother would say. Even the door to the pantry can now be left open without shame or blame. Not a weed could be found in our yard and the plants were each trimmed and fertilized. The garage is next. We had a goal towards “spic and span.” But In the process of this, there was a surprise. 

Our three sons were young, having growth spurts and Gary and I were . . . let’s just say “not quite prepared” for finding startling pictures in our 11-year-old’s bottom dresser drawer. "What to do" rang in our heads. We decided to pin each of those pictures on the four walls of the kid’s bedroom. It felt  kind-of fun.

But, when he came home from school, went to his room—our son did not come out of his room for a very, very long time. We sat at the dinner table calling for him to come join us. Finally, he did. His face was solemn and white as a freshly washed sheet. He looked—well—stunned.

Needless to say we never saw girlie pictures in our home, again. Fortunately, our son was healthy enough to take this in his stride. It could have been different. And, after the fact, as parents know—that was a dumb thing to do to a kid! I have always felt some pangs of guilt when I remember his face that day.

Well, no one alive is guilt free. And, as adults, how about venturing into our mental drawers, meaning those places where we hold beliefs and ideas that do not serve us well? So often these are hidden away and we do not think they are of any harm . . . then a phrase or statement pops out of one’s mouth that reveals them. Oops.

Take for instance a statement I heard a person say recently, “What does God have to do with anything?” Well…maybe EVERYTHING. But, none-the-less, the man was entitled to that belief—even to express it, given freedom of speech.

Our beliefs do formulate childhood for the most part. Some experts have agreed that by age six, a person’s belief system is reasonably well formed. It is probably safe to say only a small portion of humanity questions beliefs formed early in life. And, we know that adults believe what they want to believe.

It is highly uncomfortable to change a belief. Mostly, we much prefer to leave things “as is” when it comes to long held beliefs. So, people often get stuck with self-confidence, self-sufficiency or self-assurance that can produce prejudice and pride if we do not keep an eye on our beliefs. How much self-scrutinizing are we up for when it comes to our beliefs; frequently, we excuse happenstances opting to spew “it’s all’s good,” or some other self-justifying statement. However, problems come when our beliefs find us behaving in ways that cause us to lessen our authenticity, meaning we become people who are less likely to make a difference in the large scheme of things. Of course God is always there to do nifty clean ups when we ask for help.

For some of us there is a resentment drawer. The mere smell of it keeps us from opening that one too often. Still, we dare not leave it to smolder. I feel sure the Lord would say, “Forgive it. I have forgiven you, after all."

These are deep places of the soul that deserve periodic pondering.

Thinking of what Holy Writ says about this brings Luke 8:17 to mind, “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light."

Back to our mistake with our son, it did not take long for us to know that we had hurt him by what we chose to do with those pictures. Comfort comes in something a minister once said, “If parents were perfect, children would grow up worshiping them, instead of finding their own need to connect with God.” To repent simply means to be sorry, then turn and go in the opposite direction. “Looking back, I recall the sweetness of apologizing while also reminding our son to remember what we've said about wanting to see naked bodies. We then promised this 11-year-old could clean his own drawers going forward. We hugged and finished our dinner.