Black holes seem to happen in our lives

 

Early in my mid-20’s divorce became part of my life for safety's sake. I married at 17 and gave birth to my first of three sons at age 18. Eight years into the marriage I could clearly see I had no other good choice but to divorce. This event held considerable sway as the church I attended was very important to me. Feeling a part of the congregational family had woven my soul to God in beautiful ways. But when the pastor thought I should not end my marriage it was not long before feeling like I no longer fit in.

It was one of the most difficult times in life. I struggled as if I had lost my moorings. Then, one early morning while sleeping soundly I was awakened by the most beautiful singing I have ever heard—sung by a choir! The song was powerfully present in reverberating words wherein I kept hearing “abide with Me.” The music captured me for long moments. Then it was gone.

I knew it was a song of assurance. God was not holding anything against me. Through the magnificent experience of having angels sing to me, I felt God’s benevolent arms . . . beckoning me to find love and comfort through Him. Soon after, a church was found in which the pastor and his wife befriended me and my children. That was many years ago, but the quest for finding joy in life and being “a joy” to others, once again was readily resumed.

About three years had passed when I met a marvelous man named Gary Smith who became my husband and very soon after became “Dad” to my three little boys. He exhibited what it means to be the blesser of a family. We were married on Christmas Day as he had a Navy obligation to meet. Today, I write on the eve of our anniversary! Truth is this dear husband brings joy to my life. Yet the highest of all joys comes through the blessing of attempting to live out God’s call to “abide with Him.”

I found in Scripture that to abide means to set our love on God while dwelling in his truth throughout the uncertainties of life. In John 15: 4, 5, Jesus asked His followers to “Abide in Me . . . . He who abides in Me, bears much fruit. 

It is within that stance of attempting to daily “abide” that I heard the call to prepare my heart, mind and soul for becoming a chaplain. It took a master’s degree and a year of training within a teaching hospital before I could become Board certified as a clinical chaplain. Thirty years of service at hospital and hospice bedsides still finds me intrigued and blessed within the work.

There is an aspect untold in the above which played a very large role in my becoming a chaplain. Early in life I had a serious brain concussion at school at age six. Then contacted encephalitis at age 17. My doctor called my recovery a miracle! Then at 18 years old I was having pulmonary emboli, blood clots, forming in my legs and abdomen and traveling to my heart and lungs. Good doctoring along with having lots of people praying for me saved my life. After so many hospital stays I became acquainted with what it meant to go through such uncertainties bordering on death and seeing others experience this. Looking back, it seems as if all I experienced during those early years was preparing me for what God knew in advance would come.

I feel a beautiful empathy toward sick and dying people. Being a listening, praying presence while with them often brings comfort for me as well as to them as God is with us.

A blog titled “My Spiritual Journey,” will tell more about what it took to release difficult emotional wounds along with the fear these can leave, rising above both mental and physical hardships. And, for sure, God fixes the pot holes by filling them with His glory.